It’s been too long, lads. I’m glad to see youse back and the beginning of semester two. I’ve had no one to spy on for such a long time. This is my favourite time of year, the first semester is more of a dry run, time for me to sharpen my witty claws. I’m sure you know by now, thanks to the SU Press Release, that you don’t have to be political to stand for election. You probably knew before that, sure look at the current sabbs – for most of them, their idea of a passionate cause is Celebrity Big Brother. Who knows how Jason O’Neill will cope as his presidency comes to an end. You can only serve two terms in the one elected officer position, and El Presidente most certainly will not take a step down from the top of his molehill. I predict that as candidacies are declared, Jason will be seen sporting a black armband, in mourning for himself, gradually progressing to full mourning garb by the end of June.
The rumour mill in working round the clock with who will take the place of El Presidente. Niall McShane is said to be harbouring desires to conquer the aforementioned molehill, you’re allowed another year if you swap positions. Although, judging by the tops he’s sporting in both his old and his new sabb portraits, he’s trying to get some sort of sponsorship deal with Hollister. Not that you would notice him in there, it’s that dark. I wonder if other sabbs will play musical chairs? I wonder if those who make the wise decision to get out while they still can will throw their support behind mini mes … woe betide any student with an emergency over elections. Everyone’s sure to have their eyes on the prize. Or maybe the whole thing will pass them by. Sure, the SU Mag wasn’t released until December, reporting on Movember and on another vaguely important election, those American ones. In case you missed the news, the charming fella won again.
I shouldn’t be too hard on our lot. Over the road can’t be much better either, our once lush green lawns have disappeared, seemingly never to return. Maybe it’s a sign of an economy drive. The budget for all that entertainment has to come from somewhere. Still, they do say that the best things in life are free. I know that I get my kicks without spending absolutely any money at all, watching costs nothing, neither did them horse burgers I stole from the back of Tesco. They’ll keep me sustained while I sit quietly alone and work out my odds. Although the best things in life are free, I’ll soon be giving you the opportunity to have a flutter on whatever you like, as long as it’s the SU elections, or what Willie Frazer will accuse the IRA of next.
Keep your eyes peeled, and don’t forget to tip me off if there’s anything my beady eyes have missed… as if that’s likely.
You can follow The Hood on Twitter, he’ll be busy over the coming days.
And if you’ve got any dirt, you can DM him on Twitter or email him – firstname.lastname@example.org